Over the years, we’ve heard some outrageously funny things issue forth from the mouths of our students – sometimes intentional and (even better), sometimes not. We hope you enjoy these as much as we do.

Emma (17): “I have a Spanish test tomorrow and [as anyone who knows me knows] I don’t SPEAK Spanish!”

Tyler (17): “I’m a weird child. I don’t think a lot of people understand me.”

David (16): “I realized today how much of a nerd I am.”

Zane (14): “At least I’m not as worthless as that other kid!”

“I didn’t have any exams this week, just lots of tests.”

Courtney (13): “Yeah, I’m smart and not as strange as Michael.”

Hilary (14): “You no longer have the right to make fun of me. I can do just fine on my own.”

Kate (17): “Are you joking me? Do I do anything in my head?”

Clay (13): “You’re good with the brains, but I’m good with the ladies.”

Will C (16): “Every kid’s life depends on T.V., but that’s because most kids have worthless lives.”

Will E (13): “I’m strange in my own little way”

Justine (11): “But you’re not a psychiatrist.” (Said in response to the tutor’s request to draw a picture representing the problem.)

Katherine (13): “I’m a genius– it’s easy for me!

Marisa (16): “I don’t WANT to do what’s good for me!”

“I’d rather go to camp than go to Harvard!”

“We need T.V. like we need air.”

Zane (16): “[Even] If it’s [as stupid as] like ‘Barney’ and [as long as] it’s like rated ‘R’, I’ll watch it!”

“My grandmother is the Osama bin Laden of Christianity.”

Hilary (15): “I want to see how long it takes me to beat myself [at this game].”

Hilary (15): “There’s a logic behind EVERYTHING I do!”

Natasha (16): “I don’t like to think a lot!”

Hilary (15): “Dad matters because he has a credit card.”

Christian (16): “Mom matters because dad is whipped!”

Matt (16): “Trying is the first step to failure.”

Ben (14): “No one cares what you have to say.”

“But I have nothing in my life WORTH two pages of writing!”

David (13): “I dont [sic] no [sic] what u are…but I dont [sic] make mistakes.”

Ashleigh (15): “You’re not like a tutor…you’re like a guy that knows a lot.”

Seb (16): “I’ve gotten much better than I would have applying myself.”

Richie (15): “Wow! Thinking works!”

“Nothing exciting requires brain power…”

“Oh…you mean I’m supposed to read the directions first?!”

“But I wanna be a wimp!”

David (16): “Tell me the weird ways…to solve the problem” [Meaning, “There has GOT to be a shortcut to this junk!]

Hadrien (12): “I may not be very cunning…but I CAN lie.”

Alex(13): “Sometimes my conscience…man, it just beats me up..”

Sam (15): “You need a better protractor if you’re gonna be working with highly tuned thinking machines like me.”

Kellie (14): “Maybe you should try thinking!”

“Oh my Gosh! I should use my head more.”

Dan (14): “I always got my homework done except when I forgot.”

Clay (12): “But I like doing it the hard way!”

Jeremy (18): [On Adult Advice] “When they’re wrong all the time, it doesn’t help to listen.”

Lexie (17): “I’m sorry. You got me disfocused.”

Kevin (12): [On How To Be A Better Typist] “BE the keyboard!”